Hospitality, Common Sense and Humor
Southern women are known for their
hospitality, and hospitality begins with one simple thing: a smile. Some of the
women from across the South have told us a few tidbits of information that we
think is right on target, yesterday, today or tomorrow.
Here’s what a Texas mother told us: “If you want people to
like you, give them a reason. Smile a genuine smile, and be kind. A smile is
universal and there are no language barriers. Make it a habit. Smile frequently
– it’s contagious and will come back to you many times over. Your mood will be
elevated and you’ll feel a sense of well-being.”
Our Dixie divas of a certain age agree that divorce is surely warranted in cases of physical abuse, alcohol or drug addiction, emotional cruelty or abandonment, but wise women who’ve seen both sides of the issue say that couples might fare better if they viewed marriage as a lifelong commitment. They say there’s profound meaning in the words, “For better or worse,” and with perseverance, the worst can become the best. Apparently, there’s great comfort in growing old with someone you know so well. Unless, they say, the circumstances are indeed extenuating. If so, call a lawyer. Pronto! Preferably a female attorney who has a reputation for winning cases for other women. Even in the law, unfortunately, the old boy network sometimes comes into play and “the little woman” is not taken seriously and therefore not always the recipient of good news in a divorce settlement, warns Precious.
Bayou State friends tell us that Louisiana native Henri Bendel, who earned fame and fortune as the proprietor of Bendel’s in New York City, once had a female president who explained the difference in fashion and style. “Fashion says, ‘Me too,’ and style says, ‘Only me.’” Just as Precious loves anything pertaining to fashion, Earth and Tommie are more logical in other aspects of life in the sunny South. Tommie believes that women who can manage pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, and aging while still looking good and being civil can do anything! Tommie and Earth are also the ones who first said “hats off” to the women of vision who had dreams and made them into realities. Earth said they were surely the same women who had great faith and believed that all things happen for a reason and that some good comes from everything.
Humor is important to Southern women. They revel in telling funny stories. This one was told to us by a woman from Florida. “A concerned female lawyer counseling a woman who was filing for divorce said, ‘You’re 91 – you’ve been married for 71 years. Why get a divorce now? The woman answered: ‘Our marriage has been on the rocks for 65 of those 71 years, but we wanted to wait until the children were independent.’”
As a public service project, a sorority at a major Southern university sponsored a golf tournament to benefit a local child abuse prevention organization. Thousands of flyers were printed that read: “Help Stop Child Abuse by Shooting a Hole in One.” This story has made the rounds for years, but it’s place of origin has not claimed it.
The following story shows how wise women endear themselves to us. It was told by a woman in Georgia, a friend of the mother. “When my son told me was gay, he waited for signs of my disapproval. I would never disapprove, because a person’s sexuality is a small part of who they are – a part that I believe to be a private matter. The hesitation that he mistook for disapproval was concern for his health and well-being. Homosexuality is still not widely accepted, and I was concerned that he may suffer ridicule – or worse — from others. My love for him has never, will never, change because he chose an alternate lifestyle. I love him more than life.”
This great idea was told to us by a friend in Mississippi. We’ll call it Girlfriends Unite. “We planned this unity weekend for months in advance. It was to be at a friend’s camp house on a lake in Alabama. Four friends were each to invite three other friends not known by others. Our aim was to have a modern-day ‘consciousness-raising’ to exchange ideas, visit, and just kick back and have fun for a weekend. There would be 12 of us, the number the camp house could comfortably accommodate, and that included the use of fold-up beds on the wrap-around screen porch.
“We came from diverse backgrounds across the South; some married, some divorced, two single by choice. Nothing was planned – it was to be a laid-back weekend. Someone brought a big pot of vegetable soup; two others brought salads, others brought fruit, snacks, wine, soft drinks and such. Everyone ate when they were hungry – no formal sit-downs. Sometimes we talked as a group, other times two or three of us went for a walk in the woods or sat by the lake, each group lost in sharing memories and mishaps, and learning from the experiences of others.
“By the time we left on Sunday afternoon, we’d discussed single life in big cities, the quiet life of a small town, careers, the best and worst of marriages, and the most equitable way to deal with the changes now so prevalent in the South. We left with new ideas, new friends, and a commitment to make this ‘reunion weekend’ a yearly event.”
Here’s an interesting aside passed along by a Tennessee woman in the music industry. “Some members of a small Baptist church in the Deep South had developed a dislike for their Yankee minister. One Sunday he announced that the Lord Jesus had presented him with the challenge of accepting the call from an out-of-state church. Shortly thereafter, the choir chimed in with the old hymnal… ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus."
